The Past, Present, and Future

This is a conversation between three characters: Past-me, Present-me, and Future-me.

Present-me: Hey, asshole. Remember that essay you were supposed to write?

Past-me: Oh yeah! The one about fibropainalgia –

Present-me: You mean fibromyalgia.

Past-me: Yeah, yeah, whatever, how’s it going?

Present-me: Screw you dude, you put it off all week and now I have to stay in all night to do the damn essay. While my friends are out watching a movie.

Past-me: Aw man, that’s too bad. I had a nice chilled night. Called my girlfriend, had a nice take-out dinner…oh and I finished Rick and Morty! That ending was awesome, did you know –

Present-me: Yeah, yeah, asshole, I know the ending, I remember. But thanks to your irresponsibility I got to cram the whole essay in one night.

Past-me: So, what’s the big deal? Why don’t you just get Future-me to do it?

Future-me: Hey guys, don’t you rope me into this.

Present-me: Well I really wish I could, Future-me, but it’s due tomorrow, so it’s now or never-becoming-a-doctor. Say, Future-me, do I become a doctor in the end?

Future-me: This, I cannot answer, for it will tear apart the fabric of the space-time continuum as well as the premise of this article.

Present-me: Fine…but do I at least finish this essay in time?

Future-me: Yes, you do, but only after three cups of coffee and much biting of nails.

Present-me: Great, I better get started then.

Past-me: Hey, Future-me, I always wanted to ask…how do things go for us? Like do we become a world-renowned neurosurgeon? Do we drive a Ferrari? Do we get a charity named after us?

Future-me: Like I said you idiot, I can’t say. Why are you all so worried anyways? Why don’t you just focus on the stuff you got going on for you now.

Present-me: Yeah, that’s easy for you to say. I’ve got to worry about whatever Past-me has or hasn’t done, and at the same time worry about whether Future-me turns out alright or not. That’s a lot of weight to bear, dude.

Past-me: Just chill man, why you gotta be so uptight?

Present-me: Well if you weren’t such a lazy son-of-a-

Future-me: Look, Present-me, forget about him. He’s done some ill-advised things, things that are going to affect both of us, but in the end there’s nothing you can do about it. You just have to laugh about it and move on.

Present-me: Haha, laugh yea. Hey, remember the time when he slacked the entire third year of undergrad and did badly? Haha.

Past-me: Yea, that was a fun year though! High five!

Present-me: Why you little-

Future-me: Look. The point is, there’s nothing you can do about it, so why stress about it so much?

Present-me: Fine. That is true.

Future-me: And anyways, we’re not giving him enough credit. What about all the other exams he’s done well in?

Past-me: Yea, not to mention I landed you three girlfriends, you think you’ll be able to do that right now?

Present-me: Well of course I – (looks in mirror) – hmm, you got a point.

Future-me: The past is the past, my friend. Embrace the wins, and learn from the losses.

Past-me: Hahaha, lame.

Present-me: Wow, that guy is immature, am I right?

Future-me: It’s all relative.

Present-me: Well I’m glad that I turn out to be pretty wise in the end. Future-me.

Future-me: Actually, no you don’t.

Present-me: What do you mean? You sound wiser than I ever am. Even after three cups of coffee.

Future-me: I might know more things, but I do a lot of dumb stuff too. I still forget to turn off the iron, and have trouble working a printer.

Present-me: Damn. I thought I’ll get better at that.

Future-me: And all those embarrassing moments Past-me did? You’ll keep doing them, just in a more professional environment. Like in front of a consultant, or in front of a lecture.

Present-me: Great. I can’t wait.

Future-me: But in the end, does it matter? The best you can do is try your best at what you’re doing now. Bad stuff is always going to happen, but don’t let that bother you today. Live more in the moment, dude.

Present-me: But how can I not worry about the future, if it’s so uncertain? What if it’s a future I don’t like?

Future-me: What if it’s a future you love? Or a future that’s mediocre? Or what if the world ends tomorrow and nobody has a future?

Present-me: Does the world end tomorrow? Cause that’ll affect my decision as to whether I’m doing this essay or not.

Future-me: It’s not ending tomorrow, do the damn essay. My point is, there are so many what-ifs in life and they’re out of your control. Stop worrying about things you can’t control. The only thing in your control is the present. So focus on that. Live in the moment.  

Present-me: Right, okay. In that case, I’ll get started on this essay now.

Past-me: Are you guys done? Gosh you guys are dull.

Future-me: Yes, I’ll be leaving. Anna Kendrick and I are going water skiing.

Past-me and Present-me: WHATT???

Future-me: Please. As if any of us had, is having or have a chance. You’re all too gullible.

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